Life of a Lost Boy

There are certain sentiments held close to the heart in all of us. Most often, these are the little pieces of influence drawn from our upbringing or our present-day surroundings. A life changing experience may not always be good or bad necessarily, but they shape who we become from the core out. Regardless how or where they were developed and from what life experience… these feelings and urges run deep. I consider myself fortunate. I have had opportunities to make decisions that most people can only dream of. Let’s face it, not all of them are things that I would wish on my worst enemy, but man, have they helped me become the person I am today and developed an ideology for this company that so many people have come to embody over the past 10 years.

It was a series of life experiences and being a young, “National Geographic enthusiast", that led me to making the most formative choice of my life. I’ll never forget the feeling of the unknown as I watched the islands pass by on my one-way trip to an island I had never been to. It was unlike anything that has ever rushed over me. Fortunately, I had been traveling my whole life. The emotional split of fear, anxiety, excitement, and pride was subdued a level of confidence I didn’t know I had until faced with the flood of new feelings that overcame me.

If you’re my age, there is a good chance that your parents came from a large family. It’s just the way things were back then. Both of my parents were one of 5, “baby boomers,” lived in the burbs, the whole bit. Talk about the stereotypical American dream scenario in my grandparents’ eyes. They were fortunate to have lived comfortable lives, but things were different then. As my parents explained to me when I was young, the eldest got the new stuff and the hand-me downs took the all the mileage they could handle. So, I was not the kid in high school with $200 Jordan’s, it just wasn’t in the cards for me and not something that my parents bought into (much to my dismay). Don’t get me wrong, I was very fortunate, growing up in a great town, amazing family, food on the table, I was downright lucky to have the childhood I did.

Most importantly though, my parents took it upon themselves to share experiences through travel and not the material bullshit that consumes the average 13-year-old kid. People constantly talk about how unique my generation is. We saw rotary phones turn into hand-held computers, we looked for movies in the newspaper then got updates about them through email. We used to listen to baseball games on the radio before we could watch any one we wanted on a Firestick. We had to be home when the streetlights came on, and most importantly… only heard about the romantic and beautiful beaches of faraway lands in books and magazines until the internet came along. But I got to see so many of them firsthand before they were so widely known! I got to sink my toes in sugar white sand, snorkel on shipwrecks, and hike in jungles when most people only saw them in James Bond movies. We weren’t jet setting by any means, but instead of Christmas presents, we got Christmas airplane tickets. Of course as a kid I didn’t see it that way. It took a very special moment to jar me from the jealousy of friends getting the newest video game systems, new cars, and the trendiest new threads.

I didn’t appreciate what I was given as most people don’t when it is in front of them. The idea of keeping up with Jones’ is such a common mentality for the world we live in. Everyone is looking for what they don’t have, and rarely do we understand the importance of living in the moment. Arguably one of the most humbling lessons I’ve ever learned is that, “the grass is always greener on the other side.” Usually because you’re not over there f***ing it up! We are all handed different opportunities in life, some more fortunate than others, but the beauty of this is that it is all what you make of it. What do you take from your life experiences? How do they shape you as a person, for better or for worse?

Much like the formidable moments that create who you are, there are certain interactions that will forever change the trajectory of your life. Sitting on the bow of a catamaran just south of Seven Mile beach, I had an epiphany. I was overwhelmed with the onslaught of college applications, major life decisions, and the idea of having to leave “neverland,” and grow up, when my mother said a few words that she may have regretted years later. “How cool is that,” she said. “Look at all these kids working this boat. Fresh out of college and decided to come do something they love. They moved to a beautiful island and get to work on a boat every day.” Little did she know, that was the nail in the coffin for me. The fog had cleared and I saw the path less traveled.

Years of underappreciated travel unraveled like a rope that came to its bitter end. It was time to jump into whatever the next chapter of life was going to throw at me, but I suddenly had direction. It was the culmination of hours in the car to see historic landmarks, forgoing birthday and Christmas presents to check out a new island, and all the other sacrifices we made to do something we would never forget. As you often do in moments of growth, my priorities changed, quickly at that. Once the almighty dollar gets thrown in your face and you can finally afford all the things you wanted as a kid on your own dime, it was hard to turn down and refocus on what you knew really mattered.

I got out of school in one of the worst times to be a college graduate, 2009. The economy was in the shitter, none of my friends had jobs, and each any everyone one of us were buried in debt up to ears after four years of school. Miraculously, I was the only one to get a job in my field, albeit I was practically a babysitter as the manager of a sports bar. At the end of the day though, I was miserable. I knew what I wanted to do but the uncertainty of throwing caution to the wind and leaving all I know behind for white sand beaches was for too much for me to handle. Besides, at that point I had “exactly,” what I thought I wanted. How could I give up the nice apartment, the new car, big tv, and cute girlfriend, to leave it all behind for such an uncertain future?

I wish I knew what the answer was to that, simply so I could share it with you all. I think it was the genuine curiosity of living like all the people I have read about for so many years. It took a few adult beverages, a few long conversations, and some sleepless nights before I grabbed my, “you know what” and threw caution to the wind to follow my dreams. The romanticized idea of dropping it all was a far cry from the truth but the journey it took to take the first step towards a new life was the hard work that made the fruits of my labor all the sweeter. Apart from a few sentimental items, I was fortunate enough to leave in safe hands at my childhood home, it was a fire sale. Car, clothing, golf clubs, surfboards, furniture, everything had its price. Every dollar that I was able to scrape together was like its own little treasure, something I could use to manufacture this dream I’ve had for years.

Regardless how simplistic you may think you live; in a world of consumption, you tend to accumulate a lot of shit. There is a few hard ways to learn what’s really important to you when push comes to shove… this journey was one of them. After months of planning and the painstaking realization of opportunities that I was leaving behind I was quite literally left with what I needed to make a real go of it all. These decisions are hard when you must make them on your own accord. I should have considered myself lucky not knowing what the world would throw at me 7 years later in the form of one of the worst natural disasters to ever exist. That’s a story for another time though. As far as I was concerned, I was making logical choices, and they were exactly that… choices.

I’m not sure if it was the hangover or the nerves, but never in my life had I experienced such a high level of anxiety on my way to do something that I had so methodically planned out. Along with my best friend, Tom, tucked in the back seat of his brother’s Nissan Maxima, it all hit me like a ton of bricks. I said goodbye to my family, my dog, the future I had made for myself through years of schooling and hard work to set out on adventure. A REAL ADVENTURE! By the time I reached the airport I was certain it was a hangover after a long night of bidding farewell to lifelong friends and bouncing from one airport bathroom to another getting violently ill. For those of you who don’t suffer from anxiety in general, it can be crippling, so this was not one of my prouder moments, I did most of the damage to myself and only added insult to injury. Regardless the bell had rung, there was no turning back.

As I sat down today to reminisce on these lifechanging decisions it almost felt like a fool’s errand. To describe to anyone who has not made such a drastic move as this, it seemed nearly impossible, but as with anything we encounter throughout our lives, everyone’s experience is wildly different. Having traveled so much previously and the sense of pride that came with it was barely recognizable at this point. Every trip prior to this had been to a known destination. There had been people waiting for us, or someone that knew the lay of the land. Even in the wildest unknowing experiences, we were a team of 4 or more people learning together and looking out for each other.

During an hour-long taxi ride upon arrival, driving on the opposite side of the road at that, I realized, “We weren’t in Kansas anymore.” Despite the warm salty air and Caribbean sun, something I had so longed for, not having the faintest clue of what the hell we were in store for was unlike anything I had ever experienced. We had a crummy little shack we hadn’t even seen yet to stay in for two days while we hit the ground running trying to find a place to rest our heads and a way to make enough money to not run home with our tail between our legs. I’m too stubborn to call it quits, even at times where I probably should have. Failure was not an option for us at this point.

The resilience of the people that had made this journey by celestial navigation seemed other worldly. Looking from the top deck of the ferry to our new home, it was like a scene out of Jurassic Park. These towering islands of palm trees scattered with tiny white sand beach oasis, and ancient rock formations were equally beautiful as they were terrifying. It gave me a wild new appreciation for those that had made this trek before us. Each person on that ferry had a story, but very few were of the same variety that brought Tom and I to the top of that vessel.

No matter the reason for everyone being on the boat that day, it was then that I realized, there was one underlying curiosity that drew them so far from their home or kept them in this little cluster of islands for all of their lives. It was the same reason that I had dropped it all to walk the road less traveled and see first-hand a new way of life. Some will be making the trip for longer than others, but for a brief second all the nervousness had faded away in a sense of unity. Strangers from all parts of the world were the exact team that we were missing on the first step of this massive personal transition. What seemed like an eternity of travel and planning suddenly made sense. It was a beautiful culmination of a lifelong plan that finally came to fruition. A solitary moment that made me realize anything was possible with the dedication and direction to a single goal.

As I said, there are moments in everyone’s life that will alter the course of their existence. The uncertainty of which direction these moments will take you on this ball of fire flying through the sky that we call earth may not be recognized for years. The underappreciated gifts and sacrifices you’ve made leading up to that time, may go unnoticed for even longer, but the lucky few that see them for what they are worth, can channel those feelings that may be overwhelming in the trying moments and can harness them to overcome adversity and doubt in their path. As I stepped foot onto a little rock in the middle of the Caribbean Sea, I understood I was exactly where I was supposed to be at that very second. The people and the memories that I had from my past will always be there, physically or emotionally, but they will ALWAYS be there. Taking the chance to create the memories I’ve always wanted though… that was only just beginning. I hope that anyone contemplating doing the “impossible,” takes it as a sign to put their best foot forward and follow their heart.